Diapers... They are a Changin

I don't know how much detail I went into regarding Monner's troubles with the Poopin.  But we were on Miralax twice a day.  Prunes, Pears, Bran... anything to get that thing movin.

Consider Hounds unleashed. 2:00 a.m. poops, nap poops, poop in the hair, poop on the table.  The kind of poop that is like that pink stuff in the Cat in the Hat.  Blueberry Poops, Prune Poops, You just can't get rid of it!  It's a Poopocalypse.

Also, after completely Monner-proofing the crib (no toys, no fluff, no fun) -- not because we're jerks, we're new parents and we have "the fear"-- but OUR child has found another way to inspire the "fear."  You know the one.  The irrational "is she breathing?" fear that prompts 5-10 visits to her crib each night.  I give you her new favorite, seemingly jacked-up sleep spot, FacePlant.  (and I know, it's hard not to notice that she's a sharp-dressed girl, sporting her Waylon Jeggings and all).

In other irrational fear news... Still no top teeth too, is this normal?  She'll be 10 months in 7 days.  It just doesn't seem right?

I'm not complaining tho, this lil Kreechur likes to snooze until 8:00 every morning.

And yesterday was my birthday.  The last of my 30's somethings.  It's over.  And so, in my wisdom, we let Monner have her first round of birthday cake.  I didn't so much "give" her the cake as allow her to continue on her path to "mom's cake destruction."  And no, I don't wear this sweatsuit to work.  Or do I?  Busted.  Hey, good moms come in all colors... of sweatsuits.   IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!  it's allowed, right?

 
and my favorite past time... The Mall and the Train at da Mall

and my other favorite past time--Askin Fore RESPEK!

A Loaf by Any Other Name

Well another weekend in the books.  Here's the highlights.

Monner randomly said "Mom!" then later, "Momma."  So I'm pretty sure, that was meant for me.  Either way, it lead me to the construction of the World's Third Greatest Toy:  a bottle filled with Blue water to shake and play with . . . don't worry folks, it doesn't leak, and it's food coloring, worst disaster would be it somehow broke and destroyed our carpet.  But this Won't happen... the Husband assures me. 

Monner and I made our second round of bread - Honey Whole-Wheat and Oat flour.  MUCH better.  Chewy and delicious and good for the innards.  This version we call "Monner Loaf" it's jam-packed with fiber, the only draw back is, the out-coming Monner loaf is a little, um... adult-like in it's consistency and not nearly as palatable to change.


Monner Loaf :

 After makin all that Monner Loaf I needed a little help cleaning up... Good thing I have such a great assistant.

p.s. the hunchback in this photo -- Jesus Christ, is that me? photoshop missed my arms -- is the author of this blog.  It's entirely possible that some giant-armed imposter mom took over my kitchen, and figure posture.

If You're Happy and You Know it . . .

Ride a Horse, YEE HA!

Here's my Monner... who, after her Splashy could not be cajoled into jammies or away from Horsey.

Ma, Iz doan needz no pantz (cuz likz i sez, dayz for loooozers)

But I DOOZ like ma hatz

In other news:  we've mastered the perfect home-made whole-wheat bran pannycake.  Monner LOVES her some pannykuke!  Here's my recipe:

1 cup of Whole Wheat Flour

3/4 cup bran (or flax)

2 Tsp. Baking powder

1/2 Tsp.  Baking soda

1/4 Tsp. salt

1 egg (slightly beaten)

1 1/2 cups buttermilk or sour milk (milk with lemon juice to substitute)

3 Tbls real maple syrup

1.  In a large bowl stir together flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In another bowl use a fork to combine egg, buttermilk, and maple syrup. Add egg mixture all at once to flour mixture. Stir just until moistened (batter should be slightly lumpy).

2.  maka-da panny kuka!

I make them silver-dollar size, Monner LOVES to tear them apart, plus, they're handy to bring out for snacks. 

Now I need to perfect my loaves of bread.  They are still a titch lack-luster.

Cheers!

signed, 

Mom, who is FINALLY ... losing weight, or it could be the Miralax, either way.... I'm wearing pre-baby jeans today, slightly ass-munching, but they're on G-Dit!

Dear Baby

Your little Monner noggin had a rough weekend.  It seems your new-found mobility has landed you squarely in the face of danger.  You take it all in stride, not too much fussing, some bumps and bruises, that mostly are worn as your badge of honors.  You're no longer my MonnerCat but my little DangerCat.  You fear no height, wall or even dried up peas or other old food stuck to the floor forbidden fruits.

I'm beginning to feel like I'm next in line for some sort of award of the Year.  Likely, some sort of  Mother of the Year award, and by "award" I mean, Worst Mother of the Year Award.

New things to Enjoy:

Helping Mama with the dishes, helping Mama do her hair, hard corners, dizzying heights, elliptic machine, and most of all DANGER!

Mama, Gramz and Boppa Anderson took you to Edinborough Indoor park on Friday afternoon, you wheeled with the big kids and saw your favorite thing.... FISHIES!

Climbing over Mama and Dad to get to the edge of the bed for the MonnerDrop.  This is particularly awesome when you can surprise mom and dad.  

Milestones for Mom and Dad:

Lowered crib to lowest setting - You love to stand up and shout and since you are a little stealthier in the morning about when you've woken up, you like to do most of your practice flights while Mama and Dad are still snoozin.  

Locking up the Cupboards - you want everything in em.  I don't blame you, there's some handy stuff in there.  We are leaving one open for when you like to cook.

Back to no sleep - your newly-commenced Crusade on Calm has kept you up at night, more aware that you are in Kidda Jail, and unable to perform your feats of strength as you see fit.

Eating - you will not be spoon fed.  You will feed yourself, thank you very much.  Even if it means sucking the stuff out of the fruit pouch yourself, which, you really really enjoy.  You Also enjoy Mama's new recipe for MonnerCakes.  They are 100% whole wheat pannycakes with syrup and bran in them.  Hopefully these will help us evade the pesky Butt Bullet again.

And for the weekend in pics:

Don't worry Ma!  DangerCat is here to help youz!

See! No danger here! 

I want some of deez guyz

I wish I was a lil bit taller, i wish I was a baller . . .

Look Ma!  Da Matterhorn!  I climbz it!

Snuggletown

I don't have a picture to share, but hopefully I can write well-enough to make you think you're in the Neighborhood of Make Believe, minus that scary Lady Elaine Fairchild, with her wailing "Boomerang Toomerang Soomerang!"

Here goes:

So Tuesday night, I lamented to the husband how I really missed my nights with Monner.  The way she'd snuggle in next to me, we'd sing won't you take me to... Snuggletown! (yes, to the tune of Funkytown)  and waking up looking at her smiling and wiggling.  It was "our time." Now, when she gets sleepy, she'd rather be in her crib.  The Monner Castle.  Kidda Jail.  What happened to our Sleepy Citadel?

Well, she read my mind.  The husband had to work an overnight.  Monner woke up around 4 and just wasn't gonna go back down.   I figured I'd give Snuggletown a shot.  I grabbed Snuggle Seahorse for reinforcements.  Maybe just maybe this night she would want to make a move to a town that was right for her-yes, Snuggletown!

Before I knew it we had both fallen asleep, snuggled in together under the covers, two hearts, who just didn't want to sleep alone last night.  No kicking, or smacking or whining... just pure snoozes.  Me and Monner.  Didn't even hear the husband come home.
 
One of those moments I hope to never forget, and cherish always.  Thank you daughter ;)

The Sun No Longer Setting on Elmo Monster

The holidays are over and You (yes YOU, Monner) no longer give two sheets about Elmo, or Snuggle Seahorse, or Vanill-o-roma.  All you want to do is climb the dizzying heights of your Time Machine.   Lo! the days when we could stick let you play in your "office" and watch you rip for a good half hour.  These days, we have to call Gramma to come watch you, so that your Llama might use the can.

Furthermore, our lives have also changed in the following ways:

I am forced to wash the floor every day.  EVERY.  DAY.  Just in case  WHEN you find sweet-taters from last week stuck on the floor.  They are irresistible.

Sticking you in your Bumbo on the counter top while I make dinner.  Never.  Gonna. Happen.  Again.

There are two safe places for you.  Your Graco Castle, and your crib, which inexplicably you enjoy being in these days.

On another note... you've claimed to have been "teething" the past couple of weeks.  Moaning about and not sleeping.  Seriously... Monner, no new teeth have appeared and frankly, I'm beginning to think it's a farce.  I'm not falling for it anymore, and you're going to bed at 8.  11:00 p.m. playtimes are done.  FINEE!  I'm on to you.

In a nutshell, you're just advancing faster than your mom and dad are.  Eating and drinking WHILE in the wheelie rider?  Come on!  we're just getting used to you saying "Da Da."

Mom with her fancy new phone app

I'd like sledding even more if mom could fix dis foto to be uprite! Oh wells, i still loves da sledding!

Goin downtown to Macy's 8th Floor and finding chocolate mousse!

Sometimes i miss deez dayz